Wednesday, June 13

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR BOYFRIEND TO LET THE CAT ON THE BED

Having a boyfriend can be a great thing. They’re cute, cuddly and entertaining, and offer companionship for many years. They are even know to reduce stress! Many people own boyfriends, and mostly the experience is a rewarding and pleasurable one. However, every now and then boyfriends can exhibit undesirable behaviour which they must be trained to suppress. Unfortunately, unlike cats, training boyfriends can be a bit tricky.

For example, imagine the following situation. A new cat enters your life and moves in with you. Your boyfriend, though normally an easy going and open minded dude, and though not overall averse to having a new playmate, may nonetheless become exceedingly territorial about one particular area, an area which was previously uniquely his domain: the bed.

The reasons for this reactionary behaviour are unclear. Perhaps it is simply a matter of instigating boundaries and maintaining control? Perhaps it is the thought of urine and faeces being tracked directly from litter box to bed? Perhaps it is indeed, as he claims, a matter of not being able to sleep for fear of turning and squishing said cat?

Whatever the root of the problem, finding a solution can be difficult. When all attempts to reason with boyfriend have failed, when boyfriend flat out refuses to sample – just for one night – how pleasurable it is to have a cat snuggled up in the crook of your knee or arm, purring away, when boyfriend turns up nose at all proffered treats and bribes, it’s easy to get frustrated and not know what to do.

But there is a solution out there! Our new, scientifically proven training method has been specially designed to make stubborn, recalcitrant boyfriends come round to your way of thinking. Now you, too, can alter your boyfriend’s troublesome behaviour – and all for the low low price of $29.99! Call today to learn more, and you'll soon be sleeping well at night with your boyfriend to one side… and your cat to the other.

END ADVERTISEMENT

Please, if anyone knows where I can get this product, or how exactly it works, could you let me know? Thanks,
R.

UPDATE: Six months later and I'm happy to report that not only does Ziggy enjoy the comfort of our bed nightly, but the boyfriend has fallen deeply deeply in love with him, slathering him with love and attention and care, playing with him for hours upon hours, feeding him gourmet cat food and petting him and greeting him the second he walks in the door and... and... in general spoiling him rotten. Hmmm. I think I might be a bit jealous... Hazo baba!

8 comments:

liz said...

what if ziggy "accidentally" ended up in bed for the night? just a thought...

Yuva said...

may be.. u can offer him some deal..
cat in bed = he can smoke in the bed..!! or something like that.. ;)

Flubberwinkle said...

Maybe Boyfriend's a dog person.
Why not get a dog too?
And call him... Zaggy.
;-)

melusina said...

Yea, I don't know if I can help you there. When we move to the new house hubby's rule is no cats in the bedroom at all. My parents don't let the cats in the bedroom either - as much as they love them, supposedly it is bad to have cats lying all over your bedding and stuff.

I'm going to miss cuddling with my babies at night but I think I might actually get better sleep when we move. ;)

Emily said...

hahaha!
Sorry, I can't help you- my boyfriend is constantly afraid the cat is going to attack him, even though I've assured him he doesn't need to be so paranoid.
That is, however, one adorable cat. Looks an awful lot like Calypso for sure :)

Kassandra said...

Hmm thanks for your advice guys... But get this. The boyfriend actually OFFERED (gasp!) to let the cat sleep on the bed last night. After I'd made a point of not mentionning it at all. He's gotten very fond of Ziggy, I think. Ziggy, on the other hand, is taking a while to really bond with us (not so keen on lap snuggling and such yet). I, however, let him off the hook for now and said no - cause I could tell by the way he said it that he still wasn't too keen on the idea, and I don't want to rush him and then have him end up resenting Ziggy. So my new motto is, give it time, give it time, and ye shall succeed!

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend loves my cat, but there is another problem I'm scared of meeting his parents...It's too serious for me...Do you have any ideas?

Anonymous said...

That would be the last night I spent with my gf if she had done it to me.